🛑 Stop Saying “It’s Fine” When It’s Not.

Have you ever felt a conversation suddenly shut down with statements like ‘It’s fine’ or ‘It’s no big deal?’

When, in reality, everyone knows it’s ‘not’ fine, and it ‘is’ a big deal?

These closed-down statements, lead to confusion, frustration, and even a toxic environment where real issues go unresolved.

Statements like these also take a toll on relationships, collaboration, and overall team dynamics.

You might even be guilty of this yourself without realizing it. The problem is real, and it’s likely affecting you right now.

But don’t despair; there’s a way to transform these conversation-enders into opportunities for open dialogue and deeper connections.

The main issue is a lack of awareness and willingness to confront these statements.

  • Avoiding Conflict: Using closed-down statements to sidestep uncomfortable conversations.
  • Concealing True Feelings: Hiding what’s genuinely felt or needed.
  • Manipulating Conversations: Steering discussions in ways that may not be honest or healthy.

Here’s the good news. You (yes, you) can overcome these challenges and foster a culture of authentic communication.

Here’s how step by step:

Step 1: 🎙 Recognize Closed-Down Statements

Understand what these phrases look like and why they are used.

Whether it’s saying “It’s fine” when it’s not or “My opinion doesn’t matter” when it does, recognizing these statements is the first step to combating them.

Step 2: 🌉 Gently Call Them Out with Team Members

If you hear these phrases from team members, approach them with empathy.

For example, you can say, “I want to check in with you because what you’re saying feels different from how you seem to be feeling.”

Step 3: 🪞 Reflect on Your Use of These Statements

Notice when you use these statements.

Be honest and candid about your needs, even if it takes a little time to figure out what you want to say.

Step 4: 🌿 Cultivate a Culture of Openness and Authenticity

Foster an environment where everyone feels comfortable being honest and open.

Encourage authentic communication and build trust by being a role model in this regard.

Leading Future Leaders: By Transforming Communication

The challenge of closed-down statements and the ability to transform them into open dialogue isn’t just about improving communication.

It’s about building a leadership culture where authenticity, empathy, and trust form the bedrock of collaboration.

🎙 Leadership starts with awareness. Recognizing closed-down statements and understanding why they occur is about more than conversation dynamics.

It’s an exercise in empathy, attentiveness, and emotional intelligence – qualities that are fundamental to effective leadership.

🌉 When leaders respond to closed-down statements with empathy and care, they bridge gaps and foster an environment of trust.

This isn’t just a communication skill; it’s an essential leadership practice. It turns potential conflict into collaboration and misunderstanding into shared understanding.

🪞 Self-awareness is a cornerstone of strong leadership.

When leaders reflect on their use of closed-down statements, they are not only improving their communication but also modeling a level of self-awareness and honesty that inspires others to do the same.

🌿 Beyond conversation, cultivating a culture of authenticity is about creating an organizational environment where leadership thrives.

By making authenticity the core of your communication strategy, you’re laying the foundation for a leadership culture that values integrity, empathy, and connection.

These are the qualities that ensure the sustainability and success of an organization.

Unlocking real talk isn’t just about opening up a conversation; it’s about unlocking the leadership potential within your organization.


Closed-down statements are more than mere words; they are barriers to authentic communication.

By recognizing, addressing, and reflecting on these statements, you can create a culture where open and honest dialogue flourishes.

It’s not just about better conversations; it’s about building stronger connections.

🌟 The Authenticity Challenge 🌟

Ready to turn insights into action? This week, I challenge you to embrace authentic communication in a real-world scenario.

Your Challenge:

Identify and call out at least one closed-down statement that you use or encounter in your conversations this week. It could be something you say or something said to you, like “It’s fine” when it’s clearly not.

Here’s How to Do It:

Identify the Statement: When you catch yourself or someone else using a closed-down statement, make a mental or actual note of it.

  1. Call it Out: If you feel comfortable, gently call out the statement, perhaps saying, “I sense there might be more to what you’re saying. Would you be willing to elaborate?”
  2. Reflect: Take a moment later to reflect on the experience. What did it teach you? Did it open up the conversation or lead to greater understanding?
  3. Share: If you’re willing, share your experience by dropping us an email. Your insights may help others on their journey to more authentic communication.

We’ll be collecting your responses and sharing the most thought-provoking ones in a future newsletter. Take the challenge and let’s create a culture of authentic communication together!

Whenever you’re ready, here are some ways we can help you!

One on One: Executive Mastery Coaching

CAREtoLead® Leadership Development Custom Designed for Organizations

Thinking about a career change? Take our quiz to see if now is the right time!


Join over 2,000 leaders who receive CAREtoLead® every Wednesday at 9 a.m. – your weekly catalyst for transformative leadership and impactful conversations.